What I've Learned

One of my favorite Esquire magazine features is What I've Learned -- a collection of tidbits from famous, or infamous, people. It's a longer, randier version of Life's Little Instruction Book.  In the spirit of What I've Learned, here's my vacation version:

Pajamas are a waste of space. I wore PJs 3 out of 47 nights. We were just too tired to change clothes and crashed most nights in whatever we happened to have on at the time. I did manage to remove my shoes before passing out. Every. Single

Digital photography is fantastic. Period. Shoot now, edit later. Of the thousands of photos I took, I might have a decent photo for the Christmas card this year. Then again, the boys got sick and tired of smiling on command about week #3.

WIFI access is, well, not very reliable on good days. I had counted on being able to upload every day with a clear, strong signal. Not so much. I did manage to get some uploading time in the middle of the night after each and every camper in the park was asleep.

Sugary breakfast cereal will keep children happy - very happy -  for up to two meals a day.

Laundry on the road requires LOTS of quarters.

And those pre-measured laundry detergent packs are fantastic.

Ramen noodles can keep kids happy for one meal a day. Cereal, cereal, ramen works. Cereal, Ramen, cereal works. Ramen, cereal, cereal - not so much. *Disclaimer: I did NOT feed my children any of these combinations in one day, although a double dip of Frosted Flakes wasn't unheard of.

The original Starbucks in Seattle is one of the most efficient places on the planet. Unlike any other Starbucks I've ever visited.

There is no "low fuel" light on our Dolphin. Surprise!

AAA is a handy membership to have.

Huckleberry ice cream is yummy.

Boys will wear one pair of boxer shorts forever. Unless Mom notices and forces a change.

Grown men, however, will not. Thank you, Pat.

The Olympic Peninsula in Washington is amazing. As are the Badlands, Grand Coulee Dam, the Redwoods, Yellowstone, Crater Lake ....

I-80 through Nebraska is possibly the most boring drive ever. Unless you put it head-to-head with I-80 in Nevada. Or Wyoming.

Our best meal on the entire trip was breakfast at Otto's Place in Galena, Ill. We had good food in other places, but the bar was set so high early on that no one else measured up. The boys asked to detour to Galena on the way home. They were a bit geographically challenged from eating too many Lucky Charms and the stimulating views across Nevada, Wyoming and Utah.

Yellowstone's thermal features are stinky. So is the Great Salt Lake.

Nationwide coverage from Verizon is a myth. It's really "east of the Mississippi River coverage plus some of the populated areas west of the Mississippi minus mountainous territory". Only 85% of that has 3G.

The alcohol and talcum powder foot spray keeps some of the 'boy smell' at bay.

"Speed Kills Bears" is a common sign in National Parks. Is there a problem with bears and amphetamine addiction that I didn't know about? Or do the bears like to go fast on park roads? We only saw one bear and he was just eating something way far from the road so I'm still confused.